it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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