No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
