take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
