brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Do vagina's smell?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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