Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
