Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
