i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
