I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
