doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
