I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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