Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
