i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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