I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
