in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think i peed on brittanys purse
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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