His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
