to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
