dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
