just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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