Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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