god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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