So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
