he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
