I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
