Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
