Swine flu. Run for my life!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
