I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
