I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
