a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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