i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
