Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
