It's just like the Real World with babies
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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