We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
