why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
