no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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