You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
