I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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