So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
