Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
