Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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