Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I booty called her while she was in labor.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
