"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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