well you can't waste a boner
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
