I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just had sex bonerless
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
