Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
