I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
