Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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