my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
