It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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