Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
