My sheets look like a crime scene.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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