I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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