I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
